Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Pastor's Wife

The Pastor's Wife
By Matt Wiser

                Did you know that “Pastor’s Wife” is not a Church office?  That’s right.  The Pastor’s wife is simply the wife of the Pastor.  The Bible nowhere defines any duties or roles which must be carried out or filled by the wife of the Pastor.  In fact, while qualifications for Elders (a word which is Biblically synonymous with Pastor) are clearly laid out in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 “The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer [Another word for Elder or Pastor], he desires a noble task.  Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.  He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?  He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.  Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.” You will notice that his wife is only mentioned once in that he must be the Husband of one wife, and then by inference when it says that he must manage his own household well, even though it then speaks of his children, it would be reasonable to say that his wife’s godly character is also in view.  The very next section describes the qualifications for the office of Deacon, a Biblical office of one who serves the Church under the authority of the Elders.  1 Timothy 3:8-13 “Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain.  They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.  And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless.  Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.  Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.  For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.”  You will notice that even here with the fuller attention given to Deacon’s wives the description is of a godly woman who is a faithful wife and Church member, so even applying that standard to the Pastor’s wife you can say that she is to be a godly woman, a faithful wife (and mother if applicable) and a faithful Church member.

                When it comes to responsibilities within the local Church, and direct service to the Church, such as ministry leadership or involvement, the Pastor’s wife has no greater responsibility than any other member of the Church, in fact, she has less than some.  The people most responsible for the Church as a whole would be the Elders, one of which being the Pastor himself, or in the case of a small Church there may, for a time, be only the Pastor, in which case he would be the one most responsible for the care of the congregation and the functioning of the Church.  After the Elders would come the Deacon(s), once the Church reaches the point where that office is implemented.  After the Deacons would come each and every adult male Church member, since God has given men the responsibility to be leaders in the home and in the Church, they bear a greater weight than do the women.  Finally, after the men come the adult female Church members, who, as Church members do still bear responsibility to the Church and for its proper functioning, but less than the men, and under the authority of the Elders, Deacons, and their own Husbands if applicable, and all, from the Elders on down, under the authority of Christ, and the Bible.  Notice that the wife of the Pastor is one of the women of the Church and bears an equal responsibility with all of the others.  She has no greater burden of direct service to the Church than does any other adult female member, and for the health of the Church we may well want to keep her burden lighter than that of the rest.  Please, let me explain.

                The wife of the Pastor performs an indirect service to the Church, the worth of which is utterly beyond calculation.  This service is being the wife of the Pastor.  That is not circular reasoning.  I am saying that by being a faithful godly wife to the Pastor she enables him to be the Pastor that the Church needs.  By being his best friend and confidant, by being the helper fit for him that God intends each wife to be for her husband (see Genesis 2), by bearing the load of caring for the home and seeing to the children, by staying by his side and submitting to his God given Biblical authority in the home and loving and serving the Pastor as her Husband, something that only she can do, she encourages and strengthens him for the responsibilities of his office in a way that is critical, the importance of which cannot be overstated.  If the Pastor’s wife is burdened down by being over several Church ministries, or whatever other extra responsibilities or direct service positions some might expect her to undertake, there is a significant risk that it might impede or diminish her ability to fulfill what is by far her most important role, that of being the faithful, godly, best friend/confidant/helper (and so much more) of the Pastor.  The results of that can be devastating to a Church.

                While it is certainly important for each member of the Church to do what they can to encourage and strengthen the Pastor to be the Shepherd of the Flock of God that he needs to be, it is equally important to remember that we are limited in our ability to do so, and that his wife is the one who can encourage and strengthen him the most, and as such we must equally preserve and protect her, and her ability to be the wife that the Pastor needs, and that we as a Church need her to be to him.  That is the high calling and critical role of a Pastor’s wife.